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Posted by Dutchman Monday, September 14, 2009

When you are young and without much responsiblity, you tend to be active and exercise. But, once you get married, have kids, and decay into that stereotypical suburban lifestyle, you gain weight, become sedentary, spend too much time at the office, and escape from your mundane reality by watching television.

Just when you have become contented with this, somebody comes along and stirs the pot. In my case, it was my youngest son's baseball coach. He starts showing up to practices on a mountain bike. He rides 10 miles to get to the field. He thinks of himself as some sort of biking evangelist, and digging into your past, finds out you used to do a lot of bicycling yourself. So immediately your told "better get a bike". And you reply, "but I have osteoarthritis in my hip, and can't hardly walk, let alone spin the pedals again". Of course, this isn't really an excuse for the bike "Commutermuse". He just suggests trying a "comfort" bike, or maybe a "recumbent".

Well, you can't really say no to that, as he might put your kid in the outfield or bat him 9th in the order. Maybe he'd even have him "sit the pine". So, a couple days later, you are down $500 for a bicycle you don't even know you can ride. A few painful days later, you discover you can just barely handle riding a couple of miles.

Not good enough. Now you have to start riding more miles. And not just on roads, but every backwoods disappearing two track left over from the last century, along with old railroad beds abandoned since the steam era. He baits and teases, and then really sets the hook hard. You have to sign up to ride 160 miles in two days. It's part of some Michigan masochistic politician's idea of torturing ones self. The DALMAC. Kind of the Bataan Death March on two wheels.

Still not enough. You have to starve yourself while you get ready. You have to lose 50 pounds in 6 months. And to entice you to do this, he makes a bet with you, where he gets your toys (Old Town Canoe) if you don't make it.

Time passes. You lose the weight. You ride the DALMAC, plus other miscellaneous tours. You ride the DALMAC a second year, even though you don't really have time to train. Goal accomplished right? He conned you into a more healthy lifestyle. Got you active again.

Finally, this guy is off my back. He doesn't even coach my kid any more. But NOOOO! Now I have to lose another 30 pounds, or he is going to make me pay for his DALMAC tour next year.

So you see. Don't let your kids play baseball. You never know what kind of kook you will run into.

2 comments

  1. Dutchman Says:
  2. Oh P.S. Good friends are hard to come by. If one finds you, do yourself a favor, and just buy the bike.

     
  3. Nice site! I like the picture. I'll be following you...

     

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I'm a middle aged divorced father living with my two sons. We like to canoe, bicycle, fish, camp, play baseball, and spend money when we want and where we want, without permission from anybody. HA!

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